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Breaking news…pharmacy owners personal expenditure to be monitored by Twitter

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FROM October this year, pharmacy contractors will be restricted to holidaying in mainland UK, and eating plain digestive biscuits in the event they get a tea break, for fear of a backlash over wanton extravagance.

Unlike other people who own businesses, pharmacy contractors should be ashamed of making a profit and wanting a fair return for their hard work, dedication and financial investment.

The new breadline policy will be reinforced by acerbic Tweets with a hint of incredulity when there’s even a notion that pharmacy owners are considering spending money on themselves.

Ongoing discussions about the size and quality of car pharmacy owners are allowed to buy have stalled due to disagreement, with some critics suggesting Bluetooth in a Dacia Sandero was profligate.

It’s expected that when the 6% cuts bite, instead of having to make sensible decisions themselves, pharmacy owners’ personal expenditure will be rigorously challenged by a committee of self-appointed righteous individuals. If you are unsure of where you are allowed to go, or what you are allowed to buy, then simply tweet your query and the Twitter cognoscenti will be with you shortly.

It should be noted, however, that as general rule of thumb if you’re considering going somewhere sunny (don’t even think about crossing the Atlantic) then, it’s probably wise to think again. Likewise buying something shiny and nice is severely frowned upon.

The next (pre-approved) annual pharmacy owners’ conference, sponsored by Primark, will take place in Grimsby.

This blog was contributed by a pharmacist who wished to remain anonymous

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